Disclaimer: I started writing this at 3 weeks post partum and now at 12 weeks, hopefully I will finish…)
I can say now, almost 12 weeks later, I had no idea what I was in store for and I’ve had two kids before this one…
After much debate for the last half of my pregnancy, I decided to go for the scheduled C-section to have the baby. After Zane, most doctors in my practice said it wouldn’t be a bad idea given the “trauma” that was done after birthing his big head. This baby was also predicted to be just as big, measuring far beyond his due date. With the risks of needing surgery on some sensitive places, it sounded like I could really do damage and risk 4thdegree tears once again. I wasn’t happy with my decision fully, and I hoped the baby would just come on his own so the decision was out of my hands. Zane’s birth was so hard I thought there is no way a C-section could be any worse.
A week before the baby was set to come out, my Grandmother MeMe arrived. That week was wonderful, I hadn’t seen her since Cruze turned 4. My mom was set to arrive that Thursday before the birth and of course some random hurricane decided to barrel into the panhandle of Florida causing mass destruction and to my dismay, shutting down airports all the way up to South Carolina. What are the odds? Luckily after freaking out that the baby would come due to barometric pressure changes and my stress levels I was sure my mom would miss the ONE baby she would be able to be here for. Luckily we were able to rebook her ticket for that Sunday. (Via Air, thank you for being so awesome!) (new correction: Via air has just stopped flights to st. Augustine from Charlotte, thanks a lot.)
While waiting, Meme and I washed all the baby clothes, packed my bags, and she followed me around telling me not to do anything but rest. Boy, how right she was, I should have listened.
The night before the birth I was so emotional. I wasn’t ready to let go of being pregnant. I knew this was the last one. (my husband wanted one kid…) I knew in my heart I wouldn’t be doing this again and wanted to cherish the moments with this little one attached to me, feeling him kick, his nightly hiccups, and knowing absolutely no sleep was around the corner. I was also scared to say the least. I mean what kind of an idiot opts to get cut open?
We woke up at 4:30am the next morning to be at the hospital at 5:30am. We checked in and they started the work up getting ready for a 7:30am delivery. The anesthelogist came in and started describing how I might feel and what to expect. He was such a calm nice man. He gently explained that its possible to feel like I can’t breathe but its just a sensation and that you can. Immediately I was scared to death. I started crying, trying to hold back ( I’m 35 forgodsakes get it together its your third child) so I joked with him, “ So can I just leave instead?” He said I could if I wanted to and I didn’t have to have the C-section. I told him I was kidding just really nervous. Ah, doctors.
They wheeled me back for the spinal tap. The room was freezing cold. They made Hank wait outside until they prepped me for surgery. The nurse held my hands as the needle went in. It surprisingly wasn’t as painful as I remember. Immediately I felt weighted down in my feet. They laid me on my back and put the curtain up. For the first time in 9 months of being pregnant I finally felt relaxed, but only for a minute. They put in the catheter before I was fully numb and that was super fun. The doctor start poking me with a sharp object and I could feel it every time so they tilted the table way back towards my head to let the spinal tap work its magic. After and extra few minutes I was finally confident I could no longer feel the pricks. They brought Hank in, and as usual he looked scared shitless for me. I find that so adorable. I felt them tugging and pulling, the weirdest sensation ever. The nurse said okay get ready, in about 30 seconds your baby will be out. Not more than 10 seconds after she said that, the baby was screaming bloody murder. None of our kids had been that loud. I immediately was uncontrollably crying and so stuffed up I could barely breathe. Hank went to cut the cord and get some videos and pics. The doctor kept telling me how beautiful he was and how great I was doing which was odd given that she did all the work. She said the baby would be over to me shortly. It was crazy to me how this baby that I carried around for 9 months was being seen by everyone but me. That wait for him to be brought over was the most exciting longest wait ever. Once they brought him over, they laid him beside my face. He was just precious. He suddenly got quiet being near me. I should have known then how attached this baby would be to me. All the sudden I had an urge to throw up, and I said oh no take the baby. I gagged but nothing came up and the anesthesiologist gave me some meds and immediately I felt better.
They wheeled me back into the same room I was in before and we let the baby breastfeed for the first time. He fed for over 20 minutes and the nurses were astonished. I should have also known at that moment that he would be a milk monster..
Some of it is still a bit hazy that first day. He was born at 7:57am ( ode to the Boeing family we were once a part of!) I didn’t have much pain, just really starving from not eating.
This is where the story gets blurry…
Stay tuned for part 2 ( hopefully its not another 12 weeks until you hear it)