Being a parent is the single most important thing I have ever done. (Aside from deciding to watch Scandal after friends repeatedly told me it was a great show)
I love being a Mom and honestly even though I know things are about to get more complicated, Im very excited for the second baby. I grew up in a big family and being the oldest (aside from my big stepsis) I was always around babies and kids. The house isn’t a home without chaos!
Growing this baby hasn’t been the easiest, not that I’m complaining. Overall I enjoy being pregnant and feeling that little baby kicking around even when it kicks me hard in the bladder and I think I’ve peed myself. This 2nd time around has been a bit more difficult. More weight, more aches and pains, yet overall a more healthy pregnancy. Im trying to drink more water lately, I realized I had been super slack. Already I can see an improvement in my alertness and energy level but it hasn’t stopped me from putting the Mayo in the spice rack or continuously forgetting what I needed from the frig. I feel like an aquarium after 3-5 liters of water a day. An aquarium that has a so leak i.e going to the bathroom 1436 times a day.
I haven’t had any fun cravings. Mostly I like Sparkling water and latest my obsession is toasted bread with butter. So boring. Aren’t I supposed to have pickle cravings in the middle of the night?
Cruze is doing well although he still isn’t saying much. His new word is blue which comes out more like “boo”. Its pretty adorable. He’s finally growing like a little weed and growing right out of his clothes. He fits comfortably in 12-18month clothing, so hopefully he catches up to his actual age. Im assuming the “terrible twos” are on the way as I have seen tiny glimpses with tantrums and refusal to do a certain task. We haven’t started potty training yet, Im waiting til I know he’s completely ready otherwise its a struggle especially if he can’t even say “potty”. He’s a smart kid and he surprises me everyday with something new he’s learned.
Me on the other hand? I’m pretty sure Im the hardest to deal with. Ive become obsessed with cleaning the house. I used to leave dishes in the sink and now it makes me crazy to leave it. I may have developed OCD about the dog hair, which sticks to everything. I mean I find it in my clothes and on my dishes. Ive read this is normal but its drives me crazy. I used to try to clean the house in two days or less but Ive now just succumbed to the fact that cleaning everyday when you live in a “castle” is the only way to stay on top of it and makes me feel slightly sane by the end of the day. I can say it irks my nerves when I mention the house is clean and my husband says “Oh I couldn’t tell.” Does that mean it never looks clean or that it always looks clean??? Argh…
I have days where that mom/housewife title starts to overwhelm me. Like today I realized, Im just here to serve everyone like a waitress at a 24 hour Denny’s. I love to cook most of the time, its kind of soothing but mostly its just a pain in the ass. I spend probably many hours a week planning meals, making grocery lists, shopping for groceries ( with a toddler), and then putting away groceries. Then for 3 meals a day you prep for an hour or two and it takes all of 10 minutes for my husband to eat it. He’s usually finished by the time I sit down. Its kind of a let down especially if it was an elaborate meal. I tend to eat very slow so the meal feels worth it however, Im usually up and down 100 times in the middle of it. Then afterward you are cleaning up the mess, washing dishes, hosing a kid off, and cleaning the kitchen. Sometimes I wonder why I don’t save myself the trouble and just order in.
I miss my career some days, usually the days where the unclean laundry is stacked, the juice cup spilt a third time, he’s taken off his diaper and peed after his bath, dishes are piled up, your kid is having his 2nd tantrum of the day because you forgot to buy yogurt, and you can’t remember the last time you showered.
Being home is great, I have been able to watch my kid grow everyday and spend every moment with him. I mean he’s pretty much my reason for breathing. Sometimes the same reason I’d like to run screaming in the opposite direction! Its been said by many, but being a mom is a 24/7 job with no one to cover. Just driving to and from the office was a nice break for me when I worked, not to mention being around grownups using my brain ( not just wondering if I should teach him that a horse goes “neigh” or that it makes more of a noise with its lips…) Now I beg to go to the grocery store because we are “out of milk” wishing that the store was slightly farther away. Its not that I want to be away from my family, its just a feeling of wanting to feel that I’m able. Usually if you do something without the kids or husband, you sit there feeling guilty. I mean Moms don’t even get to use the bathroom in peace. We have to leave the door open and typically we have company.
Just the other day my husband and I decided that going out of town while he’s off isn’t a good idea since its so expensive. (Eid is the end of Ramadan and people are off work so naturally the plane tics are ridiculous) All i could think was, if I was working I’d be okay with that. I’d lounge around the house and catch up on TV but being someone who “works” from home, getting out of the house was more than just a treat. Its kind of like a day off from the “office”.
I promise I’m not complaining ( I do have to reiterate that before someone thinks I hate my kid or something). Sometimes it can be daunting. Sometimes it feels like groundhog day and sometimes it feels like no one understands you just want to step outside the bubble of laundry, cleaning, feeding, playing trucks and watching Mickey Mouse.
I do appreciate my husband, he hears the brunt of my rants which typically are more pronounced during pregnancy with my hormones ablaze. (Just the other day I cried about not fitting into my clothes) He goes to work everyday in 130 degree weather and rarely complains. He leaves his socks everywhere and hasn’t washed a dish since 1998 but it’s okay because he’s the reason I get to have this amazing life. I think I speak for most Moms when I say its just the feeling of appreciation that we crave. To feel like even though we don’t have a career of importance, that the fact that the laundry is always folded nicely or dinner tastes great or the toys are organized or the floors had been mopped is just as important and what I’ve done has actually been noticed.
My final comment, anyone who is a stay at home Mother should be able to put that on their resume and it should “Wow”the boss because most Moms know, thats the hardest “work” they’ve ever done in their life.
**I’d like to recognize mothers with careers as well. Just because you have a job outside of the house doesn’t mean you don’t have the same issues. At the end of the day, you can’t wait for that glass of wine and reality TV. Unless you live in Kuwait…