A friend told me a few days before I actually went into labor, ” It will happen when you least expect it.” Well Vy Vy, you were so right…
Little David Cruze Collins was born at 4:39pm on July 6th, 2012. He was 5.5lbs, 19 inches long and the sweetest thing I have ever seen. It started around 10pm maybe a little earlier. I had been in the kitchen ALL day baking brownies and strawberry & lemon cupcakes for the Independence Day celebration. I have to say I couldn’t be more excited he was born near my favorite holiday. July 4th has always been the best day. My family always goes out to the Lake house with all of our family and friends. My dad serves his famous BBQ that he has smoked for days before. Everyone brings amazing food, we swim and layout all day. Now that we are older, we also drink all day which makes the fireworks at the end even more fun. Usually around 4pm we decide who can drive us up to the roadside shack to get about $200 worth of fire. Oh, and boiled peanuts. This is only the 2nd celebration at the lake that I have missed in my 29 yrs. It definitely wasn’t the same this year, especially being in a different country. At least the last one I missed I was on a boat in the ocean! Anyhow, after finally giving up on all the baking and satisfied with my work of art (which I never even got to taste), I decided to head to bed. I had a few contractions during the day that were a little more painful than I was used to but I figured they were Braxton Hicks since that morning we had JUST went to the doctor in Budapest and he said I was not thinned, dilated, or any of that fun stuff. I do have to admit I was a little down from hearing that. Which is clearly how I never expected it to be that night. I told Hank around 10:30 that I was having some contractions. He said go to sleep and you will feel better. Typical man. NEVER happened. I laid there till about 12am. I started getting worried and timing them but the timing was never anything concrete. I let him sleep as long as I could because I hate waking him up. He usually jumps at the sound of my voice and I didn’t want him to freak out if these were a false alarm. I looked it up on the internet, thought about calling the midwife or my mom. (lucky the time difference was in my favor) I wake Hank up and tell him I don’t feel right. So he said call the Doctor. I also forgot to mention that before I woke him up, I decided to finish packing and take my nail polish off. I was supposed to have the bags already finished but in my defense, I couldn’t pack things all the way because we use them daily. I called my mom and she said it might be braxton hicks since they don’t follow a pattern and they don’t get stronger. By 2am I call the midwife (who is vacationing at Lake Balaton which is 3 hours from the hospital). She says try to take a shower, then call her. I take a shower, then she tells me to rest. I try to rest and then I call her. Around 4am I finally look at Hank and tell him we need to go. We scramble to get everything ready and packed in the car. I am feeling silly because I feel like this has to be a false alarm. Let me state now, I am a HUGE baby when it comes to pain. I hate it. So I’m sure at this point this is all normal. However, the fact that I have been having them for 6 hours makes me think differently. Hank looks nervous and drives like a crazy person. Im trying to calm him down because his stress gets to me. I have learned through this process I can feel other people’s energy. It changes mine, and the last thing I want is to be more stressed. It doesn’t help anything at all the he insists on driving with the flashers on. Not ONLY is it annoying the crap out of me, its unnecessary. I also need to mention that this whole process especially at this moment, I am scared shitless ( for a lack of a better word). Im terrified. I even hesitated getting out of the car as if I had a choice to turn back. We head upstairs, the doc is out and the nurse doesn’t speak English.Great. My contractions aren’t showing up on the monitor but I feel them. Finally the doctor comes to check and Im definitely in labor. They give us a room which would be our resident for the next year. Okay, a week but it felt like a year. I decide to walk around to move this process along. The pain is not unbearable only because you know after about 1 minute the pain will pass. The nurse comes in and says you need to lay down so you can save your energy between contractions. This is horrible. I now hate life. Why would ANYONE have a child? My mom is crazy for doing this 4 times. I hate men, they have no idea. I may die just from pain. I want to go home. This was my head every time I had a contraction at this point. My water had broken most of the way but they took me in and broke it the rest of the way. Gross. Before this day we had discussed that Hank would not see these things especially the baby coming out because I would like him to still look at me the same after. In the heat of the pain, I didn’t care anymore. I needed a hand to hold and something I could stare at to make me feel better. He was all I had and Im so glad. My shyness was completely gone by the end of the labor. Hank was trying to cover me up and I told him stop, it didn’t matter anymore. After the water breaking we head to the delivery room. I like that they keep it so dark in the room, it makes me more calm. Im now at 4.5cm and the pain is bad. I sit on an exercise ball and the dietitian comes in for our orders for meals. I had to ignore her. I mean was this the best time to ask me questions?Im clearly busy. With each contraction I decide i can’t take it. But I really wanted to go as far as I could without meds. I also was scared to get an epidural too soon in fear it would wear out in the middle. Can you imagine? People who do this naturally have a screw loose. ( sorry to those I offended, you aren’t crazy… well maybe a little) Gabbie, the midwife looks at me and says, its time for the epidural. I was so glad. A friend, Leslie, had said, “Listen to Gabbie, when she says its time, do it.”. The needle hurt and I was scared I was coming out paralyzed but it worked and I felt like unicorns were dancing around my room with 15 minutes. All the sudden Im pushing per request of Gabbie. I won’t get into details but regardless of an epidural it hurts. Just in a different way. I pushed so hard I remember saying, “Im GONNA pass out!” But I didn’t and here comes the nameless baby. I was almost to the point where we should just name him nugget or baby. Thats what I called him for 9 months. Ive never cried that hard except for when my dog died and there is nothing that makes you cry harder than seeing your husband cry like a baby. But who could help it? You would be made of stone if you didn’t.
Then the scary part happened. The fear in the doctors eyes, the rushing around the nurses were doing… He said, ” We need to take you to the O. R. because your placenta is stuck”. Stuck? Stuck where? I mean I did just push a baby out, it can’t be stuck. Stuck was the wrong word, more like seamed into my uterus. Again, the fear in my husbands eyes was scary. I was so exhausted I just prayed I wouldn’t die. Blood was everywhere and people was on everyone. Im glad its hazy to me now.
Skip to later… Im fine, the baby is fine, and now my life is changed forever. We stay a week in the hospital for his jaundice and my anemia. My recovery was pretty terrible. The headaches from pushing turned to migraines. The doctors said it was the “air conditioning”. When a doctor believes in something that stupid it really scares me. And makes me want to scream. We struggled with going insane in that little room, struggled mostly for the food which was terrible, and the feeling that we were never leaving. We also felt scared at times that Cruze was having issues, but his tests always came out great. July 13th we finally bring home the baby (see? I call him baby, its habit). Being home is amazing. I miss our families so much. I cry sometimes because my family isn’t here. I miss our dogs. I miss our friends. Luckily we have some amazing people here. They have volunteered to cook us dinner every night taking turns. We have food every night for a week. How amazing is that? I can’t thank everyone enough for being there for us. Hank goes back to work on Tuesday and I become the stay at home mom I always dreaded but maybe secretly wanted… Just never thought it would be in Hungary. Skype is all we have for now to see our families. It works well but there is nothing like seeing the grandparents hold him.
So let the journey begin… I never thought I would ever marry Hank ( only because he hated marriage), I never thought I would live in Hungary, and I never thought I would have a baby with the love of my life. God sometimes will give you everything you ever wanted when you least expect it. Well, Hungary wasn’t really on my Christmas list… but oh well. I always wanted to travel Europe, so technically… hmmm